Cracking open a coconut is no easy feat unless you understand how. In Theodore Roddenbury Grant and the Coconut Caper, you may be appalled that an 8-year-old boy would be foolish and spontaneous enough to throw a coconut through a porcelain sink. 

The True Story

The truth is, before the Internet, two college students with a coconut, but no hammer, did exactly that. 

It was the first week of college when I heard a knock at my door. Upon opening the door, a coconut rolled into my room. Two students stood in the hallway. The young couple, dressed in color-coordinated attire, chuckled.

“Do you have a hammer?” the fellow asked. His girlfriend smiled. 

While I’m known for being prepared  and overpacking, I didn’t bring  a hammer when flying from Los Angeles to London to attend the University of London. Never even considered it. 

No matter. Ever the helpful one, I joined in their creative attempts to smash the coconut by any means available.

I welcomed them in. Swept up in the moment and the mission, we began hitting everything from the radiator to the sink. Crack. Crunch. Gasp!

Ok. It was me. Yep. Just like Theodore in the Coconut Caper, without thinking, I sent a coconut careening through the sink before potential consequences even registered in my brain.

As if time stopped, we stood staring at the gaping hole in the center of the sink bowl. The coconut rested in the trash basket below fully intact. The silence broke with the couple’s laughter. 

It wasn’t funny! This was serious. It was my first week in the U.K. What a bad representation of Americans, of my alma mater, and of ME! 

I was mortified. 

I confessed my folly to our house mother. She couldn’t fathom it, so she came to see for herself what had happened.

My heart raced with each step up to my third-floor room. Mrs. Darby took one look at the sink and burst into laughter. (Not at all what I was expecting!)

“I’ve never seen such a thing,” she squealed. Still chuckling, and nearly bent in two, she peered through the hole and shook her head. 

I offered to pay for a new sink. 

“Nonsense,” she said. “We’ll take care of it.”  And she did.

Whew! I thought she would have me expelled and send me home in shame! Instead, I became her “favorite American.” Go figure!

My mistake became Theodore’s story to remind kids (and adults) to think before they act. 

Cracking a Coconut Safely

Before You Begin

Select a good coconut. Ensure that it is heavy for its size and sloshes when shaken. You will need to pierce the eyes, drain the coconut water, crack the “equator,” remove the “meat” from the shell and peel the brown skin off before you can shred, slice, dice or dehydrate the “meat.”

There are two primary ways to crack open a coconut. The first is to use manual force. The second is to use heat. Both require parental supervision and assistance. A child should not do either one unsupervised. Gather the following items and set them aside. 

By Force or By Heat

Both processes use the following rust-free, clean, dry and sanitized items:

• Hammer
• Phillips head screwdriver, nail or corkscrew
• Spoon
• Cup or small bowl
• Towel
• Cutting board
• Peeler 
• Grater or food processor
• Phillips head screwdriver, nail, or corkscrew

Cracking with Heat 

These additional items are required to crack by heat:

• Silicon cooking gloves or potholders
• Baking pan
• Oven preheated to 400° F

Drain the Coconut Water

This is the first step for both methods. You’ll need the cutting board, towel, hammer and an item to pierce the eyes, such as a screwdriver, a nail or a corkscrew. Make certain tools are not rusty and have been cleaned, dried and sanitized before using.

1. Place the folded towel on the cutting board to help keep the coconut from slipping away. 
2. Rest the coconut on the towel and hold it firmly in place with one hand. Press the screwdriver (or twist the corkscrew) through each of the three eyes. (You may need to tap the nail with the hammer.) 
3. Drain the coconut water into a cup or bowl. (Refrigerate the coconut water to drink later or to save for use in cooking.)

Cracking by Force (After Draining the Coconut Water)

1. Firmly hold the coconut horizontally on the towel. Hit along the center of the coconut using moderate force. Rotate, hit and repeat until it cracks in half. The meat should look clean and smell fresh. If it does not, you have a bad coconut and should compost it. 
2. Insert the spoon between the coconut shell and the meat and pry the meat out.
3. Peel the brown skin off the white with a vegetable peeler and rinse. 
4. Use a grater or food processor to grate or slice the meat. 
5. Enjoy! 

Cracking by Heat (After Draining the Coconut Water)

1. Preheat the oven to 400º F.
2. Place the coconut on a baking sheet or in a baking pan.
3. Bake for 15 minutes. 
4. Remove from oven using silicon cooking gloves or potholders. 
5. Let cool for 5-10 minutes. 
6. Tap it with a hammer.
7. Pull the shell away from the meat. The meat should look clean and smell fresh. If it does not, you have a bad coconut and should compost it. 
8. Peel the brown skin off the white meat and rinse.
9. Use a grater or food processor to grate or slice the meat.
10. Enjoy!

Try both methods and let me know in the comments which you preferred and why.

Love, Learning and Laughter,